1. |
Refill
01:30
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shake the covers off the corpses
drag my legs toward the cupboards
grind another healthy helping for my morning
makes the a.m. much less mundane
takes the fire off the migraine
it's the perfect cuppa coffee and you'll
find me more alive in a few
oh what could be on my plate
as i sip me awake
oh what could be
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2. |
Routine
02:48
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mirror's hiding all the wrong things -- the good in me
keeping up appearances isn't quite the easiest
part of my routine
is this a bad dream?
water's spilling from the faucets, the mirror steams
blurring any obvious signs i've been cautious
like i figured i would be
the curtain calls me
serves as a reminder to wash what i can't see
stitch between the seams
and never let 'em see behind the scenes!
back into the clothes i slept in -- forever clean
maybe i'd be changing had i ever some engagements
like, more than once a week
well here's a new week
drying off is like a memory the water saves
shower, shit, and shave like it's the only type'a way
that i can handle day to day
without a right brain
ignoring that the mirror went and told me to my face
the man that i portray
never seems to see the light of day
if i can muster up the strength to scream
will i be heard by someone more than me?
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3. |
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i don't know what i'm hearing
it's the faintest of the faintest
doesn't mean it ain't a thing to hear
maybe 'cos i spent something
like four or five straight days in here
don't check the mail or take out the trash
'cos that's when they getcha - hahaha
i really thought today would be the day
i'd put one over
stick it to the ever watchful eye
ideally i'd be strapping up my boots
and leave my head inside
stomach jumping upward when
i'm peaking through the peephole and
no sign of what i'm sure is there
and what if all this caution is nonsense
and the other side of the door is a wash
and what if i've been sitting inside
wasting away like one of those
tin-foil-hat-wearin'-fuckin'-idiot-fucks
and what if i found that the answers to the questions that i'm asking
were implied in the questions themselves
guess i'd feel pretty dumb over that
guess i'd reach for my tin foil hat and toss it away!
and i won't be a slave to me no more!
maybe i can free me from just sleepin' through a heinous fear!
and i won't be a slave to me no more!
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4. |
The Rub
03:10
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all suited up because i'm fully grown
and not afraid push what's buttoned up
chase the dog around the room
like she can sense that something's up
they've got quite a sense for sensing
what don't seem like much to us
so i trick her into trusting me
she hates this fuckin' harness
but she pulls me 'round without it
and i'm selfish to make her wear it
but that's the rub
rain runs amok, we're soaked from nose to tail
or head to toe and probably should've stuck
to where there's awnings and protection
from the pissing clouds above
my glasses rendered useless
i can't see two feet in front
she halts and turns to face me
and a couple seconds later
not half a foot behind her
from an open fourth floor window
a fucking air conditioner hits
and cracks the fucking concrete
she smiles as if to say she let it go
and she's given me another day to live
and that's the rub
an ethereal sigh
given the chance to make my time on earth a lie
'cos up until now
i believed in god because i needed someone to blame
but enough's enough
i believed in god because she was always a prayer away
but that's the rub
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5. |
Please, Just Don't
03:10
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i outsmarted the hand of the holy
that's what i'm seeing
ten fingers confirming i nearly
missed another beating
half-hearted, i shoot up a gaze
stare into thin air and beg for her grace
'cos i know no man never went long
without begging forgiveness
please just don't bait and switch me to a previous state
turn it up if you'll hear me out
y'know, i wish you wouldn't flinch
please just don't rearrange me to a former face
'cos i'm running out of ways to live
and lord, i wish you didn't know the half of it
moving onward and ever upward
and puffing up my chest like "huhpfh"
must be a cut above the rest
there's a reason that i feel like "huhpfh"
but all around i'm seeing reminders of what just was
feel cheated, don't wanna know that i'm
one step from being a meaningless being
and it'll be okay when
there'll be nothing to nay-say
and if i manage keep myself awake…or away...
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6. |
Simplify!
02:04
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found where i've been and lord, it's time to
dig my feet in
while gently i stretch my mouth to form the
shape you intend
lord, be my guide 'cos i ain't one to
see what i hide
if i should see otherwise just go and
shape me again
well, that's just right!
simplify!
i'm just a stake to drive in place
so just smack me deeper into place
and pack the dirt in
blessed in plain sight, 'cos lord i know
you wear no disguise
what's not to believe? you make it seen
with all of your might
i'm happy to say i'm cracking smiles at
every thing
moving my way into a life i'm
sure you intend
well that's just right!
simplify!
i'm just a lump that limps and waits
smoothing edges complicates
the lump that i am
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7. |
Testing Out My Strength
02:37
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stumbled on a brother on my steps, way low
weren’t for the stumble, i’da never noticed him, though
maybe i’m numb to this
those glazed up stares like his
leave him for the next witness
not that i’m a hopeless apathetic, ‘cos i don’t think that’s so
it just ain’t so new to me to see a doped up casualty
leaning forty-five degrees, the angle ain’t so kind to me
so i stay upright and away my steps go
praying that he sways himself awake and gets on
keeping my distance here
it’s not what’s in store for me
never saw myself a hero
only when i’m strolling past another, and i heard him say so
he said “you ain’t got room for grief
about the wrinkles in the street
not your business, c’est la vie
just another casualty”
i’m testing out my strength with
the lift of a fallen brother
no problemo, cleaning the streets of the problem
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8. |
Fiction Perfect
03:27
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seven hundred fifty feet above the plunge to peace
up here, y’know the wind’s direction doesn’t mean anything
the skies, they see the way and part for me, with ease i leap
and for a fraction of a second i repent
figure i can squeeze one final drop of clemency from this
amen
falling nimbly to a new ascent to heaven’s end
the glass from the prudential lends a shimmer when i look within
reaching out to grab the very soul of me just beneath
and for a second i repent a second time
pray she notices my prayers before i’m lost and tossed aside
god damn
perfect fiction stops me ten feet from the ground
spins me upward for the verdict coming down
i press my palms and bear down
fiction perfect leaves me dangling in time
and i’ve not lived through anything if not to die
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9. |
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back to the dust we must go
love not your body
more than your soul
to the dust we most go
do lord, remember me
way beyond the blue
back to the dust we must go
she loves your body
but she needs your soul
to the dust we must go
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Sean Eldon Chicago, Illinois
I am a professional songwriter, arranger, musician, recording engineer, and "producer" based out of Chicago. Hire me, buy my music, and send beer, goddammit.
Sean Eldon recommends:
This record is, hands down, one of the best things on Bandcamp. No question. Universally good. Minutemen meets the first Q And Not U record meets the newspaper. Unbelievably great.
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I'm in this band, too! It's different, sorta!
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